Why is there something rather than nothing?

Why is the correct question, in light of such weird what. Why is religion a mess? To approach the most powerful question, why, we must first cover our unsteady bases. We exist without doubt, and what is will likely be, so eternity is on the table. God exists. He shares shades of His majestic nature throughout creation, inviting us to inquire further, but then the matrix gets wonky. A Guy walks on a lake. Moon rabbits and angels appear. Some dude sojourns inside a whale. Cows grant blessings. Uninspired atoms conspire to take over the galaxy. Jupiter commits sexual assault. Enki genetically engineers hawt helpers. Giants roam the Earth. Spaceships are etched alongside hieroglyphs. Yahweh genocides Egyptian babies. Shamans introduce hippies to clockwork elves. God’s voice tells both a freed slave and a desert bandit to murder all who stand in their way; in between, He speaks through His Messiah to love everyone. It’s a mess! Why? A superior scribe perfectly articulated the ultimate answer. God isn’t a rapist.

“I would rather have questions that can’t be answered than answers that can’t be questioned.” Richard Feynman

We tripped over the solution while we gathered doubt. The universe is constructed to house choice. Every religion sings the scenario. Science confirms the scheme. Yet conclusion precludes choice. This paradox ensures that every origin story is entangled with nonsense. We can have a religious answer or spiritual liberty, but we can’t have both, so God sides with freedom. That is why Jesus hawked a loogie to cure blindness, among a litany of dubious behaviors, and why scientists found no bang when they looked. It’s why moon rabbits and trilobites, utterly unrelated entities, are similarly amusing. It’s why God is loving and psychopathic on the same scroll, and why comedy reliably spoils serious spirituality. If a true answer imposed itself, we could no longer freely select a path. God, the unquestioned progenitor of reality, won’t allow slavery to defeat an apparatus He built for souls to find themselves.