What caused the Big Bang?

“If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.” Japanese Proverb

You want it right between the eyes? All the notes of science’s psalm, when added together, are even more ridiculous. The first miracle born of human ignorance and imagination is too absurd to dignify with numbers, even those as low Biblical probabilities. The priests of science declare that everything came from nothing, a statement too stupid to calculate. According to who? Them! Science’s precious laws preclude something from nothing. Thus, no sooner do they proclaim original truth than they retreat into the quantum realm, a mysterious world that their ministers admittedly do not understand. Fluctuating fields of possibility permeated seas of nothingness that had yet to form, they say with a straight face, but gibberish isn’t calculable. From their first fallacy flow all the rest. God definitely doesn’t exist, they preach, then recite discovered, repeatedly confirmed, undeniable brilliance in every element of reality. Each facet of physics is too obviously fine-tuned to support our world as we know it for God to be a mindless accident. The unlikely math of each instance is not dissimilar from walking on water, and must be multiplied by a host of other miracles that can only be regarded as such without an intelligent, benevolent Creator. Rather than admit the mistake, high vicars of hard science retreat, once more, into fantasy universes that cannot ever be seen. Humanity cannot perceive the totality of the first universe that science erroneously claims to comprehend. What are the odds, then, that human intellect can accurately model infinite, unwitnessed, fictional realities? It’s a blindfolded shot through dark matter, dark energy, mysterious gravity, wild strings vibrating in mystical dimensions, and shadowy boundaries of expanding swirls moving faster than light.